All right, so you understand why your relationship with technology matters. And if you’re anything like me, you probably have a pit in your stomach when your phone shows your weekly screen usage. We know it’s not good for us, our mental health, or our relationships, but it can still be so hard to break the patterns of scrolling and mindless entertainment.

As believers, even areas like our screen time can be submitted to the Lord. Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit, and many of us probably ought to be applying more discipline to what we’re doing online.

If you’re ready to begin bringing back balance to your tech use, the following list of ideas is the perfect place to start. Choose one or two and commit to building better habits for the next month.

Note: I can’t take credit for all these ideas myself! Rather, they’re a collection of my personal tips, ideas from friends, and gracious suggestions from fellow Substack-ers on a note I posted a couple weeks back.

Restrict It

Boundaries and self-control are important. Here are some ways to implement that, particularly when it comes to your phone or social media.

• Screen limits: Most phones have screen limit options that allow you to cap your time on certain apps. What I found is the default setup of iPhone limits were too easy to ignore. I’ve gotten into an app called Roots where I can customize what apps count as social media and have them blocked after a certain amount of use per day (1 hour) as well as a time cap (not after 8pm) if I haven’t already hit the daily limit.

• Go analog: Instead of keeping your phone by your bed or even in your bedroom, store it elsewhere and use a traditional alarm clock instead. This can limit blue light before bedtime and keeps you from starting your day scrolling.

• Social media fasts: I really need to be better at this one! I’ve heard of people taking a weekly Sabbath from their phones or social media. I know some people who will delete social media apps for a month or season. I once gave up social media for Lent. Whatever the length is, consider a practice of regularly fasting from social media or whatever other technology is a big temptation for you.

• Delete apps: Another great idea I’ve heard is to remove social media apps from your phone all together and instead, check accounts only on a computer. This keeps it from being constantly available at your fingertips. A couple years ago, I deleted TikTok all together. It was just too much for me to have the endless ability to scroll, and I really haven’t missed it.

Replace It

You tell yourself not to scroll so much, but have you ever thought about what you’d do instead? It’s a lot easier to exercise discipline when you have a fun and effective replacement activity for your time.

• Read more: This was one of the most helpful habits I turned to when trying to spend less time on my phone and social media. Renew/apply for a library card, subscribe to a platform like Audible for audiobooks, ask friends if you can borrow any recent reads, or dust off old favorites from your bookshelf. For anyone with an Amazon Prime account, look up their “First Reads” program, where you can download one free ebook a month from a curated list!

• Do a puzzle: Candidly, I’m not super into traditional puzzles with all the pieces but if that’s your jam, go for it! But also consider puzzle books like sudoku, word searches, or logic puzzles as an engaging pastime. For Christmas, I asked for the logic puzzle book Murdle and have settled into bed some evenings with that instead of my phone.

• Get outside: go for a walk, sit on a towel/blanket in your backyard or at a park, or take your kids to the playground. The fresh air has so many benefits beyond helping you ignore the screens.

• Pick up a craft: Coloring, drawing, painting, knitting, crocheting, needlepoint crafts… The list goes on of creative hobbies to get into. Lately I’ve enjoyed some simple adult coloring books with markers, but if you’ve got the time and resources to learn a new craft, it’s the perfect way to more meaningfully fill your time.

Redeem It

I’m not here to say that tech is bad or that you should throw your phone out all together! There are certainly ways we may want to limit ourselves, but it’s also possible to redeem the time and make better choices in the digital content we consume.

• Be selective with what/who you follow: Look, I still have social media and see plenty (really, too many) reels on Instagram. But, it has been helpful to curate the accounts I’m following, focusing more on real life connections than lots of influencers, and spiritual accounts that are at least solid and encouraging versus lots of shallow content.

• Choose longer form content: Of course it’s great to do analog activities and ditch screens more, but sometimes, you do just want to unwind with some low-thinking entertainment. I’ve tried to use that time more to watch sports, get into a show with my husband, or pick a movie rather than tons of 5-second video clips. The short-form videos dominating social media are so bad for our attention spans, and I notice how it even makes it hard for me to sit through a whole movie. Re-training ourselves to longer content is needed.

• Engage with community: One idea I’m totally saving is to prioritize family movie night with kids, watching something fun and wholesome, as opposed to lots of individual screentime. Then, at least there’s a communal aspect and fun memories being built instead of doomscrolling alone or not having a sense of what your kids are watching online. My husband and I have gotten into watching Survivor together, and it’s become a weekly date night that while TV focused, does spur our conversation. It feels more meaningful than me alone on my phone.

• Look for quality: Instead of random social media nonsense is there an interesting or informative podcast or audiobook you could get into? I love having Christian podcast episodes saved to listen while walking, cooking, or driving. Silence is of course good too, but if I’m going to be consuming something, at least this allows me to learn, be encouraged, or have my faith sharpened. If you’re needing some good podcast recommendations, check out my must-listens from a couple weeks ago.

This list is not exhaustive, so what tips do you have for managing your tech time? Drop them in the comments, and let us know what habit you’re going to start this week to find better balance.

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Last year the women’s book club in my church read The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt. I’d call it a must-read for parents and any other caregivers for the ways it explores how smartphones, social media, and other tech have created a mental health crisis, particularly for younger generations.

I won’t recount the whole book (since you need to read it for yourself anyway ;), but it provides extensive research to back Haidt’s key points on how unlimited internet and social media access through personal devices is causing extensive harm. He outlines the issues with detailed research and provides helpful considerations for parents when deciding how to approach technology in their homes.

The unique experience for me was in reading this book with other moms and observing how we each processed and approached the information covered. At a certain point in the conversation, I realized that not only did I have one of the youngest kids of the group present (a baby of several months), but I also was the youngest mom in the room myself being in my 20s and an early Gen Z-er.

When Haidt writes in his book about the spike in anxiety and decline of mental health beginning around 10 or so years ago with adolescents, he’s talking about my generation.

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I lived my adolescence in the age of the internet, smartphones, and social media. Anyone born even a few years after would have basically been born with this technology. So while all the moms in the book club had concerns on how to approach technology with their kids, there was something unique in understanding that the discussion we were having applied to me and my friends too.

I didn’t live into adulthood before witnessing the advent of social media and smartphones. My middle school and high school years saw the widespread introduction of iPhones and social media accounts amongst my peers. I felt the pressure to get likes online and the anxiousness that comes from realizing your posts and pictures didn’t get the public affirmation that other “more popular” or “pretty” girls got. I learned about cyber-bullying and heard firsthand in high school from classmates who lost a loved one to suicide because of it.

I’ve seen mental health crises and diagnoses abound in those my age, and while certainly technology isn’t the exclusive cause of all this, it hasn’t necessarily helped either. People feel lonely and isolated. Technology has become a replacement for in-person community yet doesn’t quite meet our actual needs for human connection.

We know that attention spans are dropping. It’s embarrassing how often I reach for my phone, and even as an adult, I easily feel the pull to scroll endlessly through short clips as opposed to even sitting down for a full-length movie. Yet this technology usage has pretty much been normal since my early teen years. For those of you even younger than me, it’s probably been there just about your whole life.

I think what this means for us then as we approach being adults and parenting in a digital age is that we have to first look at ourselves. How we’re using social media. How we’ve been impacted by technology. How we wish we might have been better protected from its dangers. Or how safeguards kept us from feeling the worst effects.

For me, this has meant paying a lot more attention to my screen time and cutting that down, even while my little one is too young to really be on devices. I’m convicted by the example I want to set for her and realizing that my own phone dependency is not healthy.

I’m also reflecting on my high school years and seeing that while social media was fun, it had challenges too in raising the social stakes amongst my peers. I’m so grateful that I wasn’t allowed on these platforms much younger and that my parents were cautious with what we watched and how often we were on video games growing up.

This isn’t to say that older adults or those who got social media later than high school can’t be addicted or negatively impacted by this technology. However, Haidt’s work explores just how detrimental the effects of social media and unrestricted device use are on adolescents, and I think those of us in younger generations have on average been more impacted than older generations.

Anything we want to do well for our kids needs to start with us, and our own experiences growing up surrounded by technology (both good and bad), can help us steward these resources in healthy ways in our families.

If you were to take an honest assessment, what habits are you cultivating when it comes to technology? And are there any worth changing?

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Now that you’re thinking about your relationship with tech, let’s prepare to get practical. Check back next week for part 2, full of tips and ideas to get started limiting your screentime and replacing it with more meaningful activities.

Suggested Resources:

The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt

Roots - Screen limit app; you can customize the settings to lock you out of apps after a certain time of day or with hitting a usage limit.

And if you’re not, may I kindly get you hooked on my favorite entertainment + learning hobby? I seriously have way too many podcasts I’ve tried to keep up with over the years, so I’m re-purposing that for your benefit with my list of must-listens below.

I’ve organized them into a few categories to help identify what might interest you most. Note that some podcasts could fit into multiple sections (i.e. women and parenting), but I’ve tried to organize them based on their primary content focus.

Pop in your earbuds, and let’s get listening!!!

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✝️ APOLOGETICS AND THEOLOGY

Confronting Christianity with Rebecca McLaughlin

Rebecca McLaughlin’s goal is to examine hard faith questions from a biblical lens. She does so with grace, truth, and wit! I’ve loved many of her guests and find it particularly helpful when she engages in cultural apologetic topics. She’s not afraid to discuss controversial issues in order to help believers engage the world around them with the gospel. Her amazing accent is a plus too 😉.

Verity by Phylicia Masonheimer

This podcast is for sure one of my top couple favorites. Phylicia Masonheimer explores a variety of theological topics with an incredible balance of biblical truth, grace for denominational differences, and easy-to-understand language. I never feel like I’m getting “fluff” with her work, yet it’s still super accessible. If you’d like to dive into topics like Calvinism vs. Arminianism, the history of the canon, theology of prayer, denominational views of atonement, and more, this podcast is for you!

⛪️ ASSORTED FAITH TOPICS

I know this heading is kinda lame, sorry. These podcasts didn’t neatly fit into the other categories I had but offer excellent content in their niche areas.

The Emotionally Healthy Leader Podcast

Pete Scazzero is excellent in discussing not only practical ideas for leaders in the church, but what mentally, emotionally, and spiritually healthy leadership actually looks like. Though I’m not in ministry or church leadership myself, I’ve found much of the content valuable for anyone who wants to support discipleship. His explorations of mental health topics like generational trauma and current events like navigating politics have been very thought-provoking as well.

Gospelbound

Collin Hansen’s episodes of Gospelbound are like in-depth Christian book clubs in the best way. Most are interviews with an author to expound on their book and ideas of what faith looks like in a post-Christian culture. I really love the breadth of topics covered, with many that lean towards history, anthropology, and sociology from a faith-based lens. Collin is incredibly well-read, and this podcast truly feels like an education and opportunity to grow intellectually without being too “heady.” In addition to guest interviews, I enjoy his yearly episodes on suggested reads and top theology stories.

With The Perrys

Husband-wife duo Preston and Jackie Hill Perry cover a wide array of topics from a faith perspective on their podcast. They discuss cultural issues, marriage and family, theology, diversity in the church, and much more. They’re grounded and funny, which always makes for an entertaining listen alongside biblically sound insights. I appreciate their authenticity and how open they are with their testimonies too.

Writing Off Social: The Podcast

This one’s a bit niche, but I’ve recently discovered this podcast for female Christian writers interested in growing their skills and platform–without the emphasis on social media. There are interviews with many different writers who have been successful in turning these skills into careers and ministries apart from the traditional social media fame we assume is necessary to be published.

📖 BIBLE STUDY

Jesus In All Of The Bible

Spoken Gospel produced this short Bible study devotional podcast for a few years. Each episode highlights 1-4 chapters of Scripture in under 5 minutes, helping you unpack what’s going on and most importantly, seeing how all of the Bible ties back to Jesus. They don’t have content on every book of the Bible (yet), but many are fully covered in here that are worth checking out!

Spoken Gospel

David Bowden and Seth Stewart give excellent deep dives into Bible passages/books in each episode. I discovered this podcast going through their season on Jonah which absolutely transformed my understanding of the book as well as my view of God’s mercy. This is a truly excellent resource to supplement your Bible study, and they faithfully look for how every text points us back to Christ.

👶KIDS

Bono the Good Boy

This brand new podcast by Katie Kulda is so cute for little ones! I love the idea of telling gospel stories through the eyes of a character like Bono that kids are going to relate to. He’s a little dog who meets Jesus and follows the adventures through the gospels. I’m excited for our daughter to be a bit older to truly appreciate listening to audio stories, and I think these are the perfect length to introduce content like this.

Kaleidoscope Kids Podcast

Kaleidoscope Kids is a great ministry for young children (approx. 3-10) to encounter Scripture. These episodes are definitely on my list to introduce to my daughter as she gets older. They re-tell the Bible in a fun and engaging way alongside jokes, quizzes, and other dynamic features to keep kids’ attention.

Tiny Theologians

So I’ve obviously got quite the queue of podcasts for when my little one is big enough to listen to these, and here’s another good one! Tiny Theologians sends listeners on adventures with TJ and Tory who explore different theological topics like God’s attributes. I love the storytelling aspect of these and how the narratives help reveal deeper truths for kids.

👨‍👩‍👧 PARENTING

The Family Discipleship Podcast

Adam Griffin, Chelsea Griffin, and Cassie Bryant delve into all topics related to discipling your families. I appreciate the fact that two of the co-hosts are married, so you get both a mom and dad perspective balanced alongside Cassie, representing a different family with their own way of doing things. I’ve found them to be really supportive and encouraging of parents while also calling us to the important work of discipling our kids faithfully.

Mama Bear Apologetics

This podcast is basically helping Christian moms teach apologetics to their kids and consider the news and content around them from a biblical worldview. Hillary Morgan Ferrer and Amy Davison have developed a simple but valuable structure for reflecting on any topic from a biblical perspective with your kids. This makes hard topics feel a lot more approachable as we think about discipling our kids through the world around us.

M Is for Mama

Abbie Halberstadt is another one of my favorite teachers/writers. I love her podcast as well as her books and social media content. She isn’t afraid to speak the truth and share Scripture and her views with boldness and clarity. She’s gracious in understanding the hard work of motherhood while still challenging worldly norms and pushing us to character growth in Christ as we parent.

Practice Makes Parent

This podcast from Focus on the Family provides actionable insights for Christian parents to follow God’s ways while raising their kids. Dr. Danny Huerta and Rebecca St. James have a very down-to-earth and fun dynamic that makes these conversations approachable. I’ve appreciated how they consider mental and emotional health as part of spiritually healthy families.

🤰PREGNANCY

This section of podcasts is not specifically Christian but features content I found really valuable when learning about and preparing for labor.

The Birth Experience with Labor Nurse Mama

It’s great to hear advice on labor from women who have walked the path recently. Even better to have a mom who has not only personally delivered, but also works as a labor nurse! The insight into the healthcare setting as well as what to expect and what you can advocate for as a patient is so helpful. Great resource for pregnant women.

Evidence Based Birth

This podcast was informative and empowering, particularly as it’s shared the research on birth, labor interventions, and outcomes. I didn’t feel like episodes were pushy and forcing you to do a certain thing but rather, given you the insight needed to make informed decisions that work for you and your situation.

Mommy Labor Nurse

Ok I constantly mixed up the name of this with the first podcast in this section, but both were really valuable to me when I was pregnant with my daughter! It’s very similar in the sense of offering the perspectives of a mom who is also a labor nurse. I tended to scroll through the list of episodes and save anything on the topics I was wondering or concerned about.

💕 WOMEN

The Daily Grace Podcast

Daily Grace Co. is such an awesome organization for beautiful and engaging Bible studies in addition to other faith resources for you and the whole family. They’ve got something for everyone, and their podcast is a reflection of that as well. I love following their work and hitting play on any new topics that catch my interest. Given that this is a whole ministry company, there have been different hosts over the years and many different guests you get to learn from.

The Deep Dish

Melissa Kruger and Courtney Doctor from The Gospel Coalition offer themselves as mothers in the faith to engage in deep conversations with joy, grace, and authenticity. They cover a variety of topics impacting Christian women such as discipleship, aging, contentment, and prayer. Most episodes feature guest speakers/teachers who generally are well-known in the TGC circles. I like having the perspective of women a few seasons ahead of me in life and faith who aim to share the wisdom they’ve learned over time walking with the Lord.

Journeywomen

Listening to Hunter Beless is like having a supportive big sister in the faith, spurring on other women in younger seasons of life (especially moms of little ones). Discipleship is such a key value of this ministry, and I appreciate the way that you are constantly pushed to bring these lessons and conversations to your local context. Hunter is humble in her approach, making you feel like you’re learning from her guest speakers right alongside her.

The Ruth Chou Simons Podcast

I will always and forever be such a Ruth Chou Simons fan. Her words are rich in wisdom, her art is stunningly beautiful, and her communication style is so warm and inviting. I have thoroughly enjoyed many of her episodes since the podcast got a re-brand, and like a few others on this list, it spans a variety of topics. All of them are relevant and encouraging for Christian women seeking to know and love the Lord more and live it out in their daily lives.

WHOA That’s Good Podcast

Duck Dynasty star Sadie Robertson hosts this vibrant and peppy podcast for young adult women of faith (think college age through early 20s). She also covers various issues but with a particular relevancy for a younger audience. Things like dating, marriage, friendship, and personal struggles are all covered in conversations between Sadie and her wide-ranging guests.

Whew–what a round up! That’s a wrap for now, but I’m sure we’ll revisit this list in the future as I discover more amazing voices to share.

⬇️ Be sure to leave a comment letting me know any podcasts you’re loving these days; I’d love to check them out.

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Now let’s get to it!

When Aaron saw [the people honoring the calf], he built an altar before it. And Aaron made a proclamation and said, “Tomorrow shall be a feast to the Lord.”

Exodus 32:5

This is the part that caught my eye for the first time. Aaron has built the calf, and the people have declared credited it with rescuing them from Egypt. Now, Aaron has built an altar to further the worship, but as he declares a feast, he says it will be to the Lord. He even uses God’s sacred name (YHWH) to them, as indicated by the small caps “LORD” in the verse.

What the heck is this? They’ve got a calf they’re worshipping as an idol, and Aaron is using it to hold a feast to the Lord?

Re-reading the passage closely and consulting several commentaries has confirmed that Aaron truly seems to be directing them to worship the Lord. The calf is being made into an intermediary, as though they can worship the Lord through it.

We can give Aaron a little credit for not totally forgetting about God, but this certainly isn’t enough. Conflating an idol with the Lord and worshipping created things as a way to get to Him is not how this is supposed to go. A holy God is to be honored alone as Lord.

Perhaps Aaron—and even some of the people—had a genuine desire to worship the Lord, but it’s misplaced. Good intentions don’t mean anything in the end if they’re carried out in ways contrary to the Lord’s.

God had just rescued them from slavery in Egypt and established them as His chosen people. In turn, He is to be their Lord, God, and Leader. The One who they give their praise and worship to.

Aaron’s weak leadership compromises. To make the people happy, he tolerates their idol and tries to salvage the situation with a festival to the Lord. But our idols cannot be worshipped alongside a holy God. He demands our sole focus, the priority of our hearts.

He is God alone, and blended worship won’t suffice.

What does this look like for us?

I’ve seen or read a few different things lately that point out how we like to overlook our “pet sins” while being quick to judge others’. There are plenty of ways that we minimize our sins and idols and tolerate them while claiming to worship the Lord.

So maybe it’s a Christian who loves God yet continues in a relationship with someone pulling them away from the Lord because “I love him/her.”

Or worship music on repeat in the home alongside very explicit, raunchy romantasy reads.

Maybe you go to church every Sunday faithfully and engage in community while still choosing to get drunk every Friday night or drink underage because “everyone else is doing it.”

Or perhaps it’s volunteering in ministry and leading at church with grace, patience, and encouragement; meanwhile, your home life is a mess and full of anger, bitterness, and yelling that have gone unchecked.

You get the idea… There are a million ways that even we as believers turn to worship other things all while saying we’re following the Lord.

But we can’t serve two masters (Matthew 6:24). What are we going to choose? Honoring God while also honoring our personal idols is really no form of worship at all.

I’m reminded then of this verse:

And Samuel said, “Has the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to listen than the fat of rams.

1 Samuel 15:22

In context, Saul has just disobeyed the Lord’s command to destroy their enemies and everything in the town, including the animals and riches. Saul has let the army keep some of the choicest animals for themselves and is defending this disobedience by saying they’re really to offer sacrifices to the Lord.

But that’s not enough. God doesn’t want half-hearted, performative worship while our hearts and actions are set on something else. He wants us to surrender fully to Him and obey all His ways.

PAUSE AND REFLECT: Where might you be falling into the same trap as Aaron and worshipping the Lord alongside your own idols and sins of choice? What is a step of repentance you can take to follow the Lord more fully and wholeheartedly?

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Hopefully you enjoyed this little two-part series exploring Scripture! For weekly reflections, insights, and resource recommendations to walk out your faith in the here and now where God has placed you, I hope you’ll subscribe today.

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Here’s the quick refresher on the story, though definitely check out Exodus 32 for the full details:

• Moses (their leader) is up on Mount Sinai, and the people grow impatient, demanding Aaron make them new gods to follow (v. 1)

• Aaron asks them to bring their gold which he melts down and fashions into a calf (v. 2-4)

• The Israelites attribute the calf to being their gods who rescued them from Egypt (v. 4)

• Aaron then proclaims a festival to the Lord, and the people make sacrifice and dance before/worship the golden calf (v. 5-6, 19)

• Moses rebukes the people, and many die as a consequence for this idol worship (v. 27-28, 30, 33-35)

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This story has been on my mind for some time now, particularly because of a small detail in verse 2.

So Aaron said to them, “Take off the rings of gold that are in the ears of your wives, your sons, and your daughters, and bring them to me.”

Exodus 32:2

A few years back I was reading this, and for the first time I wondered: where did they get that gold?.

The Israelites have literally just fled Egypt pursued by their former captors. In Egypt, they were slaves who were ruthlessly worked and oppressed by Pharoah. Not exactly the kind of people you expect to be rolling in dough. Certainly Pharoah would have plundered the Israelites of their wealth, right? So how was there an abundance of gold jewelry to make into this calf?

I’ve got some thoughts, so let’s jump back to when the Israelites are preparing to leave Egypt in advance of the final plague and Passover.

The people of Israel had also done as Moses told them, for they had asked the Egyptians for silver and gold jewelry and for clothing. And the Lord had given the people favor in the sight of the Egyptians, so that they let them have what they asked. Thus they plundered the Egyptians.

Exodus 12:35-36

In miraculous fashion, the Lord provided for Israel as they were being freed from slavery. Presumably they had very little, so God makes the Egyptians favorably disposed to handing over jewelry and riches to the departing Israelites.

Is it this same gold jewelry they craft into a calf just five months later?

Worshipping an idol after the Lord had just saved them is certainly bad enough. But my heart sank even further when I considered that the very plunder of Egypt God had provided to bless them may very well have been the material they used to reject Him entirely.

The Lord gave oppressed slaves the gold and riches of Egypt as additional blessing on top of their freedom. They turned around and used it to build their own idols to worship.

It’s a total slap in the face to the Lord and a complete perversion of His good gifts to them.

As always, I believe these moments in Scripture where we’re confronted with humanity’s utter depravity are an invitation to humbly consider our own sin and turn to repent. These verses aren’t just stories to consume and move on, shaking our heads and wondering how the Israelites could have done such a thing.

Because you and I may not have picked up blacksmithing to melt down our metals, but we certainly are just as guilty of twisting the Lord’s blessing into idols of our own making.

You start a new job, and it’s a fabulous opportunity. Over time, you climb the career leader, finally landing a position as manager with a corner office—and a view! You used to have really great connections with your coworkers but after a while, your calendar is just too packed to make it to a team lunch. Your days get busier, and you arrive home to your family later and later, or spend time together watching your email and taking last minute phone calls to “put out the latest fire.”

You pray for a spouse and children. Then when you’ve got the family, you hang your identity on it. Being the perfect wife and mother becomes your chief pursuit, and this requires your family to fall in line too. There’s no room for misbehavior or mistakes. Everything is a carefully curated image you’ve captioned with “she’s got it all together.”

You see your bank account or investments grow after years of working and saving. What a gift the Lord has given! But as you watch the numbers tick up and the balance digits increase, your heart is consumed with pride and the love of money. “Look at all I have accomplished!” you gloat, looking for any opportunity to showcase your success.

You begin writing a blog, a tiny space to share what the Lord has been teaching you. Over time, the platform grows, and you’re amazed to watch your follower count skyrocket. The lure of going viral is just too hard to resist. Over time, your content shifts. Less of the Spirit, and more of the latest trends or clickbait issues that are sure to catch your audience’s eye. This is a business to manage after all, and you have to stand out from the noise online if you want to maintain your status.

Do you see how each of these scenarios started with something innocent enough? A new job, a family, financial success, and a hobby. None of them are inherently bad.

But the nature of our sinful selves is that we often twist the good things God has given into ultimate things in our lives. Instead of looking to our Creator, we begin trusting created things to ensure our happiness or security. Rather than praising the Giver, we congratulate ourselves for our brilliance in what we’ve achieved.

In those moments, we’re just like the Israelites. Ready to build idols out of the very grace and favor the Lord has lavished on us.

PAUSE AND REFLECT: Are there idols in your life that you need to confess? Are there places where the Lord has blessed you, but you’ve been tempted to worship or value that thing more than Him?

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While writing this article, another verse caught my eye.

When Aaron saw [the people honoring the calf], he built an altar before it. And Aaron made a proclamation and said, “Tomorrow shall be a feast to the Lord.”

Exodus 32:5

Now hold up a second.

The people were impatient for Moses to come back from speaking with the Lord and demanded Aaron make them gods to worship. They’re claiming this calf represents the gods who have brought them out of Egypt. Why then is Aaron declaring a feast to the Lord, using the Lord’s sacred name? Do they think the calf is the Lord?

You’ll have to check back next week as we continue our journey through this eye-opening passage! Be sure to subscribe so part 2 comes right to your inbox when it drops.

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A key chapter presents her “Gentleness Challenge,” which encourages moms struggling with anger to speak only words of kindness, grace, and gentleness for 30 days in their homes. The idea is that by the power of the Spirit, you can re-wire the habits of your brain and break free from sinful patterns of raging in your home, particularly as it may relate to anger directed at your kids.

The exhortation to exercise kindness and patience in our speech as moms is an excellent one. Yet in reflecting on this chapter in our discussion group, I realized that being a godly mom didn’t necessitate gracious speech only towards my little one.

Colossians 4:6 ~ Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

Galatians 5:22 ~ But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

Ephesians 4:29 ~ Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

[emphases added]

These verses are just a few of the many passages that deal with how we reflect God’s principles in our behavior, particularly as it relates to our words. And a key that I notice is that the expectation is universal. We aren’t only called to wholesome speech in certain circumstances or with certain people.

The conviction came for me in realizing that so far in mothering, practicing patience with my little hadn’t been the biggest challenge (emphasis “on so far”—I very well may struggle more with this in the future). I certainly had moments of frustration, sighing as she hung off me whining over basically nothing. But I found it easier to pull myself out of that mindset and extend grace, realizing she’s just a baby and truly can’t help herself.

However, for me, the lack of patience and kindness had been much more likely to creep into my conduct with my spouse. Somehow, I subconsciously determined that as a fellow adult (not a helpless baby), he could handle my complaining, ungracious attitude. I wasn’t yelling, but I certainly wasn’t leading with love and kindness when bringing up issues or resolving conflicts.

The Holy Spirit challenged me that I don’t get a pat on the back for being a patient mom while simultaneously being a whining wife. A godly mom is kind not just to her kids, but to her spouse too.

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My husband deserved the same patient and gracious speech, regardless of the circumstances. This realization was a helpful one, and a way I’m still looking to grow, but I’m pleased that months later, I feel like I’ve seen some character development in this area.

The Spirit is faithful! After all, Galatians tells us these are the fruits of the Spirit. Not the fruits of Olivia on her own strength. If we want to build our character, we can seek Him and His help. These fruits aren’t just a means to an end, but a path of transformation as we become more and more like Christ.

It is so worth cultivating this way of living with everyone in our path. One of the best ways to teach our kids is not just to be kind, gentle, patient, etc. to them, but to model for them what a Spirit-filled life looks like in every way.

We will fall short, and yet we have the hope of continual sanctification in Him. I thank God for the grace He shows me, the forgiveness He extends as I repent, and His sanctifying help to continue to improve in this area.

If you’ve been enjoying my writing, I hope you’ll consider sharing with a friend so they can join us as we learn to live out our faith, for such a time as this.

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[Jesus] answered, “I tell you, if these were silent, the very stones would cry out.”

(Luke 19:40)

Jesus is entering Jerusalem to the praise of His disciples. They wave palm branches and shout “Hosanna! Blessed is the King who comes in the name of the Lord!”.

Their worship is loud and clear, completely unashamed. They know who He is and aren’t afraid if the whole city hears it.

The Pharisees, always quick to offer their critiques, tell Jesus to rebuke His disciples for this, prompting Jesus to respond with the words of Luke 19:40 written above. If the disciples were silent—

the very stones would cry out.

The assertion is obvious: there is no silencing the truth of who the Lord is. He is so worthy of the honor, praise, and glory, that those who encounter Him can’t help but respond with bold worship. And when fickle humans fail to give Him the praise He’s due, even creation can’t help but proclaim who He is.

The week passes, and shouts of praise to the Lord have turned to condemnation and crucifixion. It’s not just the crowds who turn against Jesus, but even His closest friends fall away.

In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus is arrested, and

…all the disciples left him and fled.

Matthew 26:56b

While Jesus is mocked and questioned by the religious leaders, Peter is out in the courtyard being questioned about his connection to Jesus. His response?

“Woman, I do not know him.”

Luke 22:57b

Denial and hiding.

It’s a heartbreaking response to see Jesus’ closest followers, His chosen twelve, fall away and abandon Him. Not to mention that the arrest started with Judas’s betrayal of Him.

By the time Jesus is hanging on the cross, the crowds and nearly all of His disciples have gone quiet and disappeared. Their fear keeps them from associating with Him in His darkest hour and seals the lips that once recognized Him as Lord.

Lest we be too quick to judge them, can we honestly say that the truth of the gospel has always sprung from our lips with boldness and gladness? That we’ve never been silenced from the fear of others’ responses or opinions of us?

We love receiving the goodness of the Resurrection every Easter, and maybe we even do acknowledge our celebration publicly. But what about the rest of the year?

The moments when it’s not so popular to be a Christ follower? The times when the world looks bleak, or the headlines are rampant with the next scandal from a prominent pastor, church, or denomination?

I know that if I’m being honest, I have far too often chosen not to speak. Maybe I’m not openly mocking and rejecting Him, but I’m quietly complicit as His name is scorned. I choose my comfort and safety instead of a potentially inconvenient association with Him

It’s not comfortable to admit, and it’s certainly not the feel good message we want to hear on Easter Sunday. I even debated if this was the right timing to publish this article; dwelling on Jesus’ final days and the depravity of man leading up to His crucifixion seems like a meditation for Good Friday.

But pleasant or not, isn’t this the real message of the gospel? Christ came, died for our sins, and rose to life, in spite of our constant failure–past, present, and future. He’s charged us to share the good news of salvation, but even our silence can’t undermine the work He’s done.

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Because you know what happens when His followers, those tasked with helping spread the good news of the Messiah’s arrival, go silent? We’ve already seen it before at the cross.

And Jesus cried out again with a loud voice and yielded up his spirit.

And behold, the curtain of the temple was torn in two, from top to bottom. And the earth shook, and the rocks were split…When the centurion and those who were with him, keeping watch over Jesus, saw the earthquake and what took place, they were filled with awe and said, “Truly this was the Son of God!”

Matthew 27:50-51, 54

When people failed, the ground itself shook, and the rocks split apart. I don’t know that Jesus intended for His words at the Triumphal Entry to be directly prophetic of this moment. Yet the connection is clear.

Creation responded to the death of its Creator, crying out in a powerful display of what its Lord had just done.

The cross isn’t just a painful reminder for us to brush aside now that we’re forgiven. The miracle of the Resurrection isn’t only a happy story for us to celebrate one day a year before quietly blending back into the world around us.

The glory of our Lord and the overwhelming mercy of the cross cannot be held back. It is the fullness of grace, of hope, of life. It cannot help but spring forth by any means necessary.

Perhaps this Easter we ought to learn from the awe of the centurion, beholding the wake of Jesus’ death. He proclaimed the message he saw the earth itself responding to.

Truly, He is the Son of God.

Friends, may today not be the only time we share the news of this wondrous gift, and may we be utterly humbled that every time we fail, He has already covered the debt and forgiven our betrayal in full.

If you enjoyed today’s post, could I invite you to share my writing with someone else you know? Thank you :).

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Naturally, we spend most of the Easter season walking through the gospels and Jesus’ final days before the crucifixion and resurrection. But today, I want to start us off even further back, nearly at the beginning in a moment that rings even more poignantly in light of the cross.

Let’s flip back in our Bibles to Genesis 15 where God reasserts and formalizes His covenant with Abram.

Genesis 15:5-12, 17-21

And [the Lord] brought [Abram] outside and said, “Look toward heaven, and number the stars, if you are able to number them.” Then he said to him, “So shall your offspring be.” And he believed the Lord, and he counted it to him as righteousness.

And he said to him, “I am the Lord who brought you out from Ur of the Chaldeans to give you this land to possess.” But he said, “O Lord God, how am I to know that I shall possess it?” He said to him, “Bring me a heifer three years old, a female goat three years old, a ram three years old, a turtledove, and a young pigeon.” And he brought him all these, cut them in half, and laid each half over against the other. But he did not cut the birds in half. And when birds of prey came down on the carcasses, Abram drove them away. As the sun was going down, a deep sleep fell on Abram. And behold, dreadful and great darkness fell upon him.

When the sun had gone down and it was dark, behold, a smoking fire pot and a flaming torch passed between these pieces. On that day the Lord made a covenant with Abram, saying, “To your offspring I give[c] this land, from the river of Egypt to the great river, the river Euphrates, the land of the Kenites, the Kenizzites, the Kadmonites, the Hittites, the Perizzites, the Rephaim, the Amorites, the Canaanites, the Girgashites and the Jebusites.”

Promise-Sealing in Abram’s Day

Animal carcasses. Birds of prey circling for flesh. Blood spilling over the ground.

It’s a gruesome sight if we picture the scene, though this was a common ritual in the Ancient Near East* for sealing a treaty, particularly between a ruler (suzerain) and conquered one or servant (vassal).

The animals would be split, and both parties would typically walk through the middle of the pieces to signify their commitment to the treaty or promise made. The message was essentially “I swear to keep my word and if I don’t, may I be like these animals here.”

In some instances, only the vassal would walk through the middle, making the promise for themselves. The suzerain was demanding loyalty and compliance, and as the lesser party, the vassal had the obligation to stay true to their word—or face the consequences. The ruler would never be the one to pass through alone as he held the greater position, the one of power and honor.

In verse 8, Abram has asked God for a sign to know that these promises are true. The Lord has Abram prepare these animals, and perhaps Abram recognizes the covenant ritual that is about to go down. Little did he know what the Lord actually had in mind…

The Lord Passes Through the Pieces

Once Abram has laid out the animals, he is likely prepared to walk down the middle with the Lord. Instead, God puts him into a deep sleep (v. 12), and a smoking fire pot and flaming torch pass through instead. These items represent the Lord Himself passing through the pieces and sealing the covenant.

The God and Creator of the universe, the eternal Alpha and Omega, the pure and holy One bound Himself to broken, sinful mankind. He had every right to even stand aside and send Abram walking through and promising obedience to Him on penalty of death. Instead, Abram is laying on the ground, powerless and paralyzed. He is literally unable to make any commitment, a physical symbol of the deeper spiritual truth that we cannot be clean on our own.

The Lord makes the promise for both parties. Never before did the greater one put himself on the line for the lesser. But here the Lord is walking the path alone as though saying “I promise to keep every word of my covenant to you, and even if you fail to uphold your end, I alone take responsibility for the consequences. May my body be torn like these animals if either of us fail to keep our promises.”

Appreciating what this moment meant in the context of the typical practices of the day gives me chills. God knew Abram (and his descendants) would never be able to keep their word to obey, follow, and honor Him. He knew that they would absolutely deserve death and destruction for their failure and sin.

Yet in that omniscience and full certainty of their imperfection and lack, the Lord says “I’ll bear the consequences for you, with my own body.”

And He certainly did.

But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.

Isaiah 53:5 (NIV)

A whipped and bloodied back. Thorns stabbing into His head. Nails piercing through hands and feet. Bruises coloring his body black and blue.

Another gruesome scene, harkening back to the split animals in Genesis. We fell short of keeping our end of the deal with God.

Over and over and over again.

We have been faithless. Disobedient. Rebellious. Ungrateful. Selfish. Hateful.

We have chosen to go our own way, forsaking the God who made and loves us. He has offered amazing blessings to the faithful, and He has been true to every promise made. We haven’t been faithful to even one.

So, as penalty for our sin, He sent Jesus as God incarnate to earth as a man. He lived a sinless life, succeeding at what all of us have failed to do so far. And then He allowed His body to be torn and destroyed, offered as a sacrifice on our behalf.

The covenant was made back in Genesis 15, and there was a price to be paid for breaking it. He willingly took the penalty in full for our sake.

Just like Abram should have been the one to walk through the split animals, we should have been the ones to pay for our sin. God did both for us, manifested in Jesus’ death on the cross.

For the Joy

Even more miraculous is the fact He willingly did this. It wasn’t grudging compliance, but rather, deep, unfathomable love for us.

Hebrews 12:2 says Jesus is the perfecter of our faith, the One “who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.”

If we sit back and really let those words sink in, we should be awed. Christ Himself, the One who dwelt in heaven at the Father’s right hand came to earth to die for our mistakes and finish the work of the covenant He started.

He was tortured and killed at the hands of evil, sinful men, and He calls it a joy.

Good Friday is a good day only because Jesus was sacrificed in our place. We deserved destruction. He bought and gifted us salvation with His blood.

Oh what amazing grace, that saved us in our wretchedness. May we all be humbled and grateful today considering the significance of what Jesus did on the cross, passing through in our place.

My typical posting schedule is every Thursday morning, but I’m shaking things up this week recognizing the holy time we are in during the Easter season. Let’s embrace some sacred slowness and reflection on the true meaning of the Resurrection. I’ll be popping into your inbox one more time on Sunday to get your morning started. I’m really excited about the Scripture we’ll be looking, and then we’ll be back to our typical newsletter timing next week.

*Sources and Additional Resources

Tim Keller on Genesis 15 - only 5 minutes, I highly recommend watching!!

“A Sure Promise” - sermon from The Well Community Church on Genesis 15

The Abrahamic Covenant, Part 2 - short, written devotional from Ligonier Ministries

What was a blood covenant? - a short response from GotQuestions.org

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, PRINCE OF PEACE.

Isaiah 9:6 [emphasis added]

It’s a classic Christmas verse, though certainly true well beyond the Advent season. I like how clear the ending is in stating where we find our peace: in Christ.

I had to remind myself of this very early on in motherhood and continue to cling to it with each new stage of parenting that comes.

I remember the first weeks and months with our baby and the amount of time, effort, and research put into getting her to sleep. Books, texts, Reddit posts – I scrolled through it all, determined to design the perfect schedule to have her napping and sleeping through the night. It brought so much stress.

Heaven forbid the baby wake up after only 30 minutes asleep during a crib nap, and I felt so frustrated and defeated. Or now, even 15 months into the parenting journey (when I started this post), I felt tension and irritation flow over me as for a season, she consistently woke up in the morning well before the time I had planned.

Holding onto peace in moments like these is not the first reaction I typically have.

Enter the Holy Spirit to convict me: What exactly is the source of my peace?

Is it a good night’s rest? A perfectly executed daytime schedule? An easy bedtime routine? Long naps for baby in the crib? A little one who follows my exact plans and preferences without fuss or deviation?

Certainly if this is how I’m finding my peace, then that peace is going to be very fleeting. God never designed my baby to be my peace. In fact, God never designed anyone or anything else in this world to be my peace.

For he himself is our peace, who has made the two groups one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility…He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near.

Ephesians 2:14, 17

Catch that? GOD HIMSELF IS MY PEACE.

And He’s yours too, when you’re in Christ.

He doesn’t change, even when the baby is dropping naps or up multiple times a night. He is faithful and present on the days with great rest, and the challenging ones too.

Praise God that we can have peace in Him no matter what. The call for me has been to rehearse this truth to myself when I feel the stress of something else taking over.

It doesn’t always come naturally to let God be my peace, especially as I have been a first time mom. It sounds ridiculous to say, but for several weeks when I first wrote this, my little one visible on the monitor awake and rolling around contentedly in her crib in the morning could completely set me on edge and distract me from the quiet moments I was trying to take in reading my Bible before getting her up. That feels so silly to admit how easily I let my peace be stolen.

Why? Because according to my schedule, she should have been sleeping another 30-40 minutes. So when the change came, my mind immediately wandered, worried, and problem solved—independent of Him.

I was acting as though my baby sleeping in to the right time each morning is what allows me to have a refreshing time with the Lord. I made her sleep patterns essential to setting my tone for the day, and this is plain and simple, so wrong. My child is not here to be my peace, nor should her behavior (especially so unintentional!) have such a hold on my emotions.

Parent or not, what has been stealing your peace lately?

Friend, can I remind you afresh that God has gifted us His Son, and He is our Prince of Peace.

May you receive this word of blessing today, one I need to cling to just as much.

“‘The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.”

Numbers 6:24-26 [emphasis added]

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One of the unique aspects of our world today is the existence of the internet and social media that connect us in ways society never has been before with immediacy and great breadth of detail.

As an adult on the Gen Z/Millenial border, I’ve pretty much always grown up with the internet, and while I remember life before social media exploded, it was definitely popular and used during my formative years of high school and college. For any of you a bit younger than me, you probably don’t even remember NOT having a plethora of social media apps available at your fingertips.

The cons to social media and our dependence on technology are well-documented and discussed these days. One of the key issues I see is how our culture has become normalized to hearing news immediately and then reacting instantaneously. Because of how social media rewards attention-grabbing, dramatic content, everyone has a “hot take” about everything, even events that are mere hours old.

This means that before there is really time to process or grieve a tragic news story–or even just confirm the facts–the internet will be blowing up with viral opinions. The death of a controversial figure can send up a firestorm of reactions ranging from crowning the individual the next saint to reveling in the loss of humanity’s next Hitler.

It’s only human to have thoughts and feelings about what’s going on in the world. Yet the sheer amount of it is overwhelming, and the pressure to have the correct take posted publicly within hours is a burden I don’t think we were ever called to carry.

WWJD

In Scripture, we don’t see Jesus lashing out rashly. Even when he flipped the tables in the temple, there’s the little detail of him tying the whip first (John 2:15), an action that would have required at least a slight pause before His judgement. We also don’t see Jesus heal every sick person or make every beggar rich. If Jesus Himself didn’t attempt to deal with every issue in front of Him, how could we do any more?

To me, there are principles to be learned from this in 1) pausing to consider our words before speaking and 2) not acting like we are somehow saving the world with knee-jerk reels, posts, and comment battles for every event that happens. God put us in this world for a reason, so just ignoring everything going on and turning a blind eye to tragedy in the name of staying peaceful isn’t the right answer either. I certainly wouldn’t advocate for remaining silent in the face of sin and injustice or never acknowledging the positive influence you’ve seen someone have.

But maybe relying on immediate hot takes is not the approach to honor God, ourselves, or others. It’s exhausting to not only be bombarded by many news sources recounting a horrific event, but also drowned in the extremist reactions that pretty much categorize “my side” as saviors and “my enemies” as equivalent to Satan. The reality is we are all sinners with the opportunity to be saved by grace through faith in Christ.

With that in mind, it seems that there’s probably a lot more nuance and discernment needed to accurately capture grace and truth in any situation. I know that for myself, that kind of insight isn’t going to come with reading a few headlines, getting fired up by a viral post, and banging out on my keyboard the first thoughts that come to mind.

How Can We Respond Instead

Instead, it’s a much slower process of absorbing and checking information. Considering facts and opinions and weighing all of this against Scripture. Talking with my husband, Bible study group, and close friends and learning from the guidance of my church leadership. All of this to process an event and understand what a godly response may be.

I especially feel this is necessary when I consider my relative “youth” compared to some of the godly influences I’m trying to learn from. While I know God gives me wisdom and insight regardless of age, I also want to recognize that I’m still growing and maturing, including in how I consume and respond to current events. I haven’t been around all of this as long as a Christian brother or sister decades older.

I also see that I’ve been raised in a generation that values boldness and passionate advocacy often without discretion, humility, or restraint alongside it. This gives me a soberness to how and what I speak on. My voice has value to God always, but my opinion may not be helpful to others in every situation. And because of this, I want to be discerning not just in what I say, but when I even choose to say it.

We have to be discerning about who we follow and what we consume media-wise. I’ve personally tended to steer away from committing to any specific news station/website out of a desire to avoid the bias (on both sides!) that seems so clearly present in our modern-day journalism. I’ve also tried to grow in not jumping to conclusions and accepting everything I see on social media at face value. It can be helpful to hear many different perspectives and have quick access to the news, but the context is often very limited. And if the goal of posting is to have a firey response that goes viral, the information may not be the most truthful or fair to whatever the “other side” is.

What I hope to teach my kids is not that I know it all or that my opinion is the only possible good interpretation that exists. I don’t want them to see me as someone who never speaks up for what I believe is right, but I also never want to be another voice lost in an angry crowd, shouting out whatever feels good in the moment. I hope instead that I foster critical thinking AND empathy AND a heart for justice AND grace for all AND patient humility AND boldness for truth just like Jesus had.

God has placed us in this time for a reason. How are we going to steward technology in service of the gospel and with love for Him and others in our hearts? Because the hot takes, X battles, and inflammatory reels aren’t cutting it.

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Need help managing the news you consume?

One resource I’ve found really valuable to help me stay informed on current events in a balanced way is The Pour Over newsletter. It’s emailed out three times a week and features short (like 1-5 little paragraphs) stories covering the most recent headlines.

The information you’re getting is a summary of the facts and a description of some common responses from different individuals, political parties, etc. without subjective interpretations and opinions. They also wrap up each section with a short prayer or verse that speaks to how we can honor God in thought, word, and action as we respond. In this day and age, we know we’re going to be confronted with the world and its chaos, but we can control where we look for our information and how we choose to respond.

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What do you do when the going gets tough, and God doesn’t seem to be answering your prayers the way you hoped? What do you do when it’s not just one bad thing that happens, but a string of challenges hitting one after another?

The Brutal Build Up

To be completely transparent, 2025 was a bit of a tough year at my end and rolled right into a heartbreaking opening to 2026.

Around this time last year, we hoped to buy a home; we had a realtor and spent our weekends touring houses. We started off hopeful, only to have our 2 offers denied and my previously reliable corporate job suddenly unstable in the midst of this due to shifts in the government contracting landscape.

“Ok,” we thought. “House search needs to go on hold until we have more clarity on my job. I guess right now is not God’s timing.”

We prayed that I’d remain employed and that the fall would bring job security. That time rolled around, and I kept my job, but didn’t see quite as much improvement in the industry as I had hoped. There was also no progress on the job front for my husband who was looking for a change, and we indefinitely postponed buying a house.

[Insert lots of grumbling and frustration here.]

In my disappointment, I had to peel back the layers of my heart to confront sins like discontentment and covetousness. I really wanted my plans to work out, and I had to confess my pride and sense of control in thinking I could make it all happen exactly as I wanted. When it didn’t, I was ready to grumble rather than respond in trust.

The Lord was teaching me to find contentment in Him and all He’d already given me, rather than constantly striving for the next thing.

I needed to be reminded that my security rested in Him alone. These were necessary (if painful) lessons for me, and I really tried to carry the mindset of gratitude and gentle acceptance into winter.

When “Hard” Turns Even Worse

The seasonal nature of my husband’s job meant from mid-November until Christmas, he’d be working overtime, putting in 60-80 hour weeks Monday to Saturday. It’s not a fun experience to essentially solo parent and run a household with a toddler while working full-time, all during the holiday season when everyone else seems to be enjoying special time together. It was hard in the fall not to dread the anticipated end of year busyness.

And then October brought the most devastating news yet. Out of nowhere, my father-in-law was diagnosed with stage 4 of a rare, aggressive cancer; they gave him less than a year to live and guessed it may be much shorter than that.

So on top of an insane work schedule, we were facing potentially the last holidays with my father-in-law and the pressure to make the most of limited time left. The whole thing felt surreal, and some of that numbness is honestly how we survived the chaos. I couldn’t wait for the year to be over and looked forward to at least slowing down and having quality time to celebrate the holidays.

Cue the cancer taking a sharp turn for my father-in-law, and the last days of 2025 were instead spent in the ER, hospital, and eventually a hospice facility. An almost two week whirlwind of suffering and decline ended in his passing in early January. It was a relief to see the end of his pain, but now the slow process of grieving would begin.

Somehow, that wasn’t all of it. The morning my husband returned to work after the funeral, his job laid him off. We barely had time for a breath before being launched into another round of crazy: getting health insurance, applying for unemployment, and moving out of our apartment and in with my mother-in-law.

Whew.

Thanks for bearing with me as I lay that all out. It’s been a draining season for a while now. But I know that all this pain is not the end of the story.

What Is God Teaching Us Through Disappointment?

In the midst of it, I have seen the Lord’s goodness carrying and comforting us. He has provided what we needed, even if not in the ways we expected. He has graciously surrounded us with family, friends, and church community who have loved on us so well as a physical representation of His care. I know He is working on our behalf and that His ways are best.

And yet recently, as another personal prayer went answered with a “no/not yet” from Him, I was struggling not to question Him. I found myself journaling the words “I feel like I deserve better.”

After everything that had happened, the human part of me was saying God owed me one. He was supposed to say “yes” in my timing to compensate for all the hard we have been through.

I can type those words and know theologically it’s not true, but how much harder is that to really believe in moments of testing. I say that God’s timing is best and acknowledge Scripture tells us there will be trouble in this world. But after a certain point, when the disappointments kept stacking up, I found it easy to be tempted into an almost karma-esque expectation of God. It was time for some good to balance out the bad.

Maybe you’ve felt the same way. Different circumstances, but similar feelings of disappointment and longing. In those times, it can be a battle to not make our relationship with Him transactional or solely focused on the things we wish were different.

I can’t honestly say that I’m fully through those feelings yet, but I’m choosing to call them out and wrestle through to find the truth. The truth is, I don’t *deserve* anything from God. My sin warrants death, and yet He has given me eternal life and forgiveness through Jesus Christ.

Praise the Lord He’s not keeping score and giving me exactly what my sin deserves. I’ve already been given the greatest, most undeserved gift I could have.

How easily my human heart takes that for granted as though it’s not enough. As though He has to give me more to prove He really loves me. Yet looking through the perspective of His abundant grace for sinful people changes the view. It’s a lot harder to hold onto my entitled expectations if I’m honest with the full picture of what I deserve and what God has done for me.

He is not withholding good things from me–or you–as punishment or because I haven’t prayed enough or I haven’t earned it yet. He is good and gracious without us having to work for His love and favor. Full stop. The lesson is to trust and seek the Giver and realize He’s already met my deepest need.

Growth for me right now means surrendering my hopes and plans, placing my dreams in His hands. I’m going to Him with my longings and hurts. I’m being honest with my feelings while also calling to mind the truth of who He is.

Perhaps you can relate. Where can you hold on to hope in Him and gratitude for your salvation in the midst of disappointments? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments!

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P.S. These two podcast episodes from The Deep Dish really challenged me to recognize my discontentment as sin and my need to turn to the Lord and trust Him in my disappointment and waiting. Give them a listen!

• Choosing Contentment

• Covetousness: The Sin Behind the Sin

Ok, I know it’s probably a bit odd to make my second post a whole list of things that this space is not, but I think it’s important to be clear. Anything I write is first and foremost about the Lord and whatever He chooses to do with it. And because of that, there are some values I want to lead with.

So without further ado, this Substack is not…

1. The authoritative word of God. I am a very much human and capable of sinning woman just like you. I hope that what I write is encouraging, and I certainly intend for it to pull from and point to Scripture. But at the end of the day, my words aren’t the gospel, and you should test everything here (and elsewhere) against the Bible for yourself.

2. A replacement for in-person community. Look, I love me some amazing Christian influencers/teachers who I’ve found in the digital space. That being said, the online world cannot be our replacement for flesh and blood friendships and a local church body. I’m grateful to have you following me here, but I also hope you invest your time even more deeply in the physical spaces the Lord has surrounded you with.

3. An expert mama/wifey blog. As a 20-something newer mom with less than 5 years of marriage under her belt, I want to state the obvious that I certainly do not have it all figured out. We probably never do, but I feel a special urging to not present myself as the authority on all things motherhood or biblical womanhood when I still have a lot of growing to do. There are so many amazing women of faith out there with additional years of wisdom and experience to share, and I love learning from them. Expect plenty of recommendations to come! Consider me your friend in faith, humbly walking alongside you as we figure out these seasons of adulthood and look to the Lord together.

4. A full-on business. I want to offer value and show up consistently while also recognizing I have other God-given priorities in this season that need to come first. I’m a wife and mom. I’m involved in my local church. And I’ve got a full-time job. Please know that I am committed to this writing project and appreciate the time you spend here reading along, but that I’m juggling limited capacity and life demands like the rest of you.

With that out of the way, what can you expect to find here? Well for one, I’m just excited to dive in and exercise some writing muscles. But I anticipate sharing content like:

• Reflections on what the Lord is teaching me in His word and how it applies to our here and now

• Motherhood musings from a young mom of an almost-toddler

• Conscious curation of resources and voices that have encouraged me in my walk

• Reviews of books, podcasts, and all the media things I love engaging with

• And hopefully much more!

Like what you’re hearing? I hope you’ll join me on this journey of faith for such a time as this.

This year, I’ve decided to take the plunge into writing on Substack. I’ve tossed around the idea for several months now, storing up writings as I felt inspired or processed what was going on in my faith and life. As I take the step to put my words out there, I’m so grateful for you reading along!

Welcome, dear reader, to Faith For Such a Time.

You may deduce that I’ve crafted this name from a fairly well known Bible verse.

“…And who knows that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?”

Esther 4:14b (NIV)

Though the words were spoken originally to Queen Esther in the Old Testament, I believe we can ask the question of ourselves too. What if we’re right where we’re meant to be: this home, country, community, job, school, family, or friend group for such a time as this?

What does our faith look like, right here, right now where God has placed us? In one sense, our world is always evolving, leading to new questions and problems to address. But in another sense, has anything really changed at all? Our world is still marked by the same sin and brokenness as it was from the beginning: pride, selfishness, hatred, lust, greed, disease, grief, pain, and more. Scripture even tells us this truth.

What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.

Ecclesiastes 1:9 (NIV)

Though at the heart, nothing is really new when sinful humanity repeats itself year after year, the manifestation of it may look a bit different. Humans have always struggled to speak patiently and graciously to one another; we just see that play out now in social media comment sections. The world has always had conflict and division; we experience it today as especially vitriolic in U.S. politics. There have been natural disasters, plagues, secular ideology, and immoral living since the Fall in Genesis 3. The headlines about these events just spread faster because of the internet.

So it’s into this not-really-all-that-new-but-kinda-feels-new world we step. It’s no secret that the explosive evolution of technology has transformed our society, deeply impacting our lives and health. Social media, AI, smartphones, and everything connected to the cloud have put the world at our fingertips with second-by-second updates. Culture has certainly shifted away from values like faith in God, fellowship in a local church, monogamous marriages, and viewing children as a blessing in favor of a call to “do you” and “find your truth”.

Those of us on the younger adult end have mostly grown up with this technology, at least during formative adolescent years. Any of you parenting right now are having to consider when and what of this technology and its related media you’ll allow into your homes, on top of the personal usage decisions you’ll make. This is our “normal” in the time and place God has ordained for us.

There is so much real-life happening around us with work, friends, family, school, marriage, parenting, etc. Add onto this a level of noise and constant state of “plugged in” that would have been unimaginable just a few decades ago, and it’s an intense experience these days just to be an adult.

Yet as we navigate all this, I believe the same core things are true. God is good. He sent His Son, Jesus, to come die for our sinful selves. He resurrected and offers life, forgiveness, and hope to all who believe in Him. This good news is no less relevant today than 2000 years ago when the early church first started. We just have to learn what it means to live it out faithfully in our day.

Friend, will you join me? I certainly won’t claim to be any expert, but I love the idea of walking this path together as we navigate these life seasons of adulthood while holding fast to our faith in the gospel. Think of me as your sister in Christ, figuring out how the gospel still applies to my (and your) everyday: marriage, raising a toddler, growing a career, planning for the future, and so much more.

Along the way, I’d love to point you to Scripture as well as some hopefully encouraging reflections from myself and insights curated from the many wonderful, godly resources out there—especially from those a bit wiser and further along in this journey.

I have faith that He has placed us here for such a time as this. And we are called to live boldly and communally to share the good news with the waiting world around us.

I hope you’re in for the ride!